I am, it saddens me to report, a terrible blogger.  Almost two whole months with nothing to say?  That doesn't sound like the me that I know.

It's not the me that I know.  I have a lot to say; yes indeed, a very lot.

One thing that I learned recently is about how to correctly use i.e. and e.g.  One thing that I have not learned, ever or recently (maybe in the future, it has yet to happen) is how to end a sentence that ends in a period (e.g. "I now know how to use e.g.").  Do you double period the sentence? ("Most people, it seems, misuse i.e. and e.g..").  That seems awkward and it mustn't be correct.  Usually when faced with an unknown of this nature, I solve the problem by avoiding the problem.  That, I suppose, will have to suffice for now.  So:

The abbreviations i.e. and e.g. are two language tools that most people seem to misunderstand; I am no longer among them.  I.e. - this is to be used when providing some sort of clarification or complete list of information.  "My favorite authors (i.e. Kurt Vonnegut and Mark Twain) are dead."  This indicates that Vonnegut and Twain are my two favorite authors, not a sampling of some of my favorite authors.  E.g. is used when providing an example.  Some authors whose books I enjoy are still alive (e.g. Franzen, Eggers, and Moore).  This list provides only an example of some of the living authors that I like.  So, I hope this helps.

Teaching.

I am still going to be a teacher.  I still am a teacher.

Mr. Keating, I have decided, is going to be my teaching pseudonym.  I am now a lot more confident in my abilities, my chances, to become a great (ok, I would be satisfied with decent) teacher.  And yet I still am not sure.  I guess, perhaps, the fear of failure is something that most people have to deal with.  So it helps that I use that fear to connect with humanity.  Connecting with humanity, after all, is about the only way to find happiness as a human.  Connecting with something is important.  My connecting with myself is about the easiest thing for me to do.  But that is ultimately unsatisfying.

I want to be a teacher; I am going to make myself into a teacher.  At this point, what I need to really focus on is in coming to terms with the fact that when one first starts to teach they will know absolutely nothing.  This is scary, but I think that it is inescapably the case for all beginning teachers.  The successful ones either come to terms with that or they are too stupid to realize it.  The latter is unavailable to me;  the fear of failing, of feeling inadequate, incapable, is sometimes overwhelming.  I just need to jump into the abyss of unknowing - of being unprepared.  I need to trust that inside of me exists the abilities to learn how to handle anything that happens.  Even if it is not true, believing that it is, is essential.  So, wish me luck!

I am a teacher!



I am currently reading Tropic of Cancer.  It, occasionally, really speaks to me.  I am not sure if it speaks to me in a good way though, a healthy way.  What it says to me, so far, is that life doesn't really have a purpose, human beings are not very "good" and that time progresses anyways and most things still turn out alright.  What I really get from it is that being poor, having nothing, is not enough to get anyone down so long as they don't let it get them down.  The state of having truly nothing, least of all food, is not that bad.  Especially as long as other human beings exist on whose feelings of pity you can prey.  As long as I am a alive, I vow to be happy.  And until I am dead, I vow to exist.

(if you are offended, context-independent, by the word cunt, then I cannot recommend this book) 


The end.